Memories

I had in my opinion the best mother in the world..She was a tough little lady but at the same time one of the most loving and kind hearted person you would ever come across..

My mom came to this country in 1969 a year after my dad had come to the states to get his self situated with a job and a place to live before my mom would join him..I was left in the care of my moms older sister back home in Guyana.

My parents came back to Guyana in 1972 to bring me to my new home in New York..With them was my younger sister..Where the heck did she come from..When mommy left home she was by herself, now she comes back with this stranger..WOW, was I susrprised..

I did not like my new home..It was cold and the people were not nice..The kids made fun of my accent and the way I dressed..My mother always tried to make things better but it seemed as though nothing was ever going to be right ever again in my little world..

I slowly got used to being in the strange new land called America..My mother made sure of that..She made the dishes I loved to eat..She took us on outings to the museums and the zoo and to the movies..We did'nt have these things back home..

My brother came along in 1973..A few years after his birth my mom was diagnosed with sarcoidosis..She became very ill and was hospitalized for 6 months..My dad took care of my siblings and I with the help of family friends..My mom finally came home, but she was not the same..She lost a tremendous amount of weight and had no energy..

Thanks to medication and proper rest she was able to get back to herself..She was doing so well that she decided to go back to school..She enrolled in City College of New York in the schools nursing program..My mom was so brilliant that she graduated 2nd in her class..

She went on to work at a private hospital in the Bronx not too far from where she and my dad lived..She loved her chosen career and her patients loved her..

In 1991 she became ill again..The sarcoidosis was back in full swing..Medication was not helping her this go around..

I lost my mom to her illness on December 8, 1991..That in my opinion was the worst day of my life..I was inconsolable..How could this happen..My mother was always so strong so vibrant..Nothing ever shook her foundation..She lived and loved for her husband and children..She was smart, courageous and loving and  she groomed her kids to be the same..

I now have three children of my own just like my mom..If I could be half the woman that she was I know life would be good..

There are times when I sit and wonder what life would be like if my mom was still here with us..Then I get out of my selfish mode and thank God for the time I had with her..I cry and then I smile and then I cry some more..

Thank you heavenly father for the special people you bring into our lives and for the joy and love that they bring...

The Dress..

Michelle has a dress that she likes to wear all of the time..This dress can be filthy as all get out, she does not care she is going to wear it no matter what..

She plays in it..She sleeps in it..She eats in it..If I let her she would wear it out on special occasions..That's not happening..

I've actually had to hide this dress from her just to see what her reaction would be if she could not find it..Lets just say total melt down occured..It was not pretty..

So I've just resigned myself to letting her be with her dress for the time being..Eventually she's going to outgrow the love affair with the garment..

Snack Attack..

I love a good snack, so does Michelle..Well Michelle just likes to eat period..Today I had a serious craving for beef patties, so I decided to make some..It's been a while since I had made any patties, but I just knew I wanted them..I was done with the whole process in an hour and enjoying the spicy filling and crispy crust...Mmm Good..Michelle enjoyed them as well..

BEEF PATTIES

Filling

1lb. ground beef
1 samll onion
2 scallions
2 cloves garlic
5 sprigs thyme leaves
2 dried asian chili peppers
1 teaspoon whole cumin seeds
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 packets powdered beef buillion
1/3 cup plain bread crumbs
1/3 cup water

In a food processor, chop onions, scallion, garlic, pepper and leave from thyme leaves. Heat oil until very hot in a heavy skillet. Cook vegetables until soft. Add meat to skillet and cook until no longer pink. Use a large spoon to break up any clumps of meat. Sprinkle beef buillion over meat and stir to mix well. Add bread crumbs and water. Continue to cook for 10 minutes stirring constantly to prevent any clumping. Allow meat to cool before filling crust.

CRUST

5 cups all purpose flour
1 cup shortening
2 packets Goya Sazon seasoning
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 tablespoon vinegar
water

Mix flour, sazon and baking powder togehter in alarge bowl. Using a pastry fork or your hands, work in shortening into flour until a mealy texture is achieved. Add vinegar and enough water to flour to make a stiff dough. On a smooth floured surface half of dough until 1/4-inch thick. Using a 4-inch round pastry cutter, cut out as many pieces of dough allowable. Fill with meat and fold to cover. Use a fork to prick close. Pat water around edges to keep from opening while baking. Brush patties with melted butter before baking in a pre-heated 385 degree oven. Bake for 15 minutes.

Life is Good

He fell asleep while playing in his bouncy..

They make everyday more enjoyable..Even when I feel worn down they bring me back up again.. Going to the store with mom..She loves to go to the market

Insomiac at 3:00am

There are many nights I simply cannot sleep and this one of them..Sometimes I just lay there and let my thoughts take me over..Most times I lay there and meditate on what God is saying to me..

Ever since I was a small child I would have very vivid dreams of things going on in my life at any given time..I would try to suppress them because some were not always good..But then others were simply wonderful..

My children when they finally fall asleep can sleep through anything which is a good..Although Mason still wakes up for a midnight feeding, he generally falls right back to sleep..Michelle has finally started to sleep through the night after 2 years..I thought that day would never come..

I don't think I've actually had an uninterrupted night of sleep since I became a parent..When Melvin was a teenager, I could not sleep until he was home and in bed..He was for the most part really good about keeping his curfew..

My husband is an insomniac as well..I think he is even worse than I am..

I love this time of morning because it's quiet and I can think freely..It's my time to be creative and let my imagination run wild but not careless..I get to focus on my dreams and aspirations and on how I can make them a reality..

I long for the day when I can have a full night of sleep and sweet, sweet dreams to go along with it..

That day will come, but until then I will just be grateful for the quiet time I have with my thoughts all because of my insomnia..

Dancing My Butt Off...

Alright it's Monday March 22nd and tonight starts the new season of dancing with the stars..I've been waiting for 6 months and its finally here..

I love to dance and so do Michelle and Mason..It's been a while since I've been on any dance floor..The dancing I do these days are for kiddie entertainment; but I don't mind, they get a kick out of it..

Keeping kids entertained is no easy task..I now know every show that comes on the Sprout Network and the times they come on..I can sing the theme songs word for word all while dancing with Michelle..

My kids love music..Melvin is a gifted lyricist..Michelle loves to dance..Mason just rocks to whatever has a beat..He hasn't shown his gift yet..Or maybe he has because he does rock to the beat in step with the music.

Tonight I get to see adults dance, some better than others and I get to choose my new favorites..Then tomorrow its American Idol..Can't wait..

A Time For Reflection

It's the 2nd day of spring..Here I am sitting in my bathrobe at the computer..It's still dark out because its 6:30 in the morning..I like to come downstairs before the kids wake up so I can get my alone time with my heavenly father..I can hear the birds chirping outside of the window..That is the best sound in the world..

Meditating on the word makes me feel so good when I am going through a difficult time and even when I am not..

I am a difficult stage at this moment, but I know I will get through it with much prayer and guidance..

I have always been one to try and correct problems on my own without much help from anyone..However there are somethings I cannot do on my own..They require a bigger hand to hold mine and a broader should for me to lean on...

My God has never failed me..I am certain that I have dissapointed him on an occasion or 2, but he still never gives up on me..That is why I make time everyday to be with him and only him alone..

I love the book of James..It speaks to my soul so much so that Mason was given James as his middle name..

Michelles middle name is Grace..I think we all know why..If not heres the reason..For over 20 years I was unable to concieve and then God showed me the true meaning of grace by allowing me to become a mother again..I could ask for no greater gift than that..He knew the desires of my heart and he made it possible..

James 1: 17 - Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the father of light, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning..

II Corinthians 9: 15 - Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift..

I know that this too shall pass and I just have to be patient and wait on the lord because he always keeps his word..

SHHH...

Nap time is the best time of day..I just love it..


Mason

Michelle

Washable Crayons

Some of Michelles art work..She's no Picasso but she tries..

Thank Heavens for washable crayons..Michelle likes to be creative which is a good thing..I just wish she would use her craft paper or coloring book instead of the walls..I'm starting to get scrubbers elbow from cleaning the walls at least 3x a week..

I can't wait until she's out of this phase..But for now I'll just keep scrubbing..You know baby wipes are pretty good for cleaning washable crayon marks..Come to think of it, baby wipes clean just about anything which is kind of scary considering it also cleans a babies butt..

Idol Junkie

Its Thursday and its "Idol" results night..I am so hooked on this show..When I worked outside of the home I would never get to see any of these reality shows. I would overhear my associates talking about what happened the night before and who was their favorite contestant.

They would ask me my opinion of the contestants, but I never has one because I did not see the show. Now I do have an opinion but no associates to chat with it about. My Idol buddy is my 2 year old. We sit propped up in bed watching the performances as they happen and then listen to the judges critique. She has no clue how much her mom is in to this show. She just likes to hear the signing so she can dance.

My next fave is about to start again..I got a chance to check out "Dancing with the Stars" while on maternity leave this past summer..LOTS OF FUN..Who knew that the stars could move like that..

Is this what my life has come down to..waiting on reality shows to come on..I always have my routine down to the tee. Dinner is ready by 6pm..the kids have their baths by 7pm and are in bed by 8pm..(bedtime does not always work out that way) its just wish full thinking..

I usually miss the last 30 minutes of the show because I can't keep my eyes open long enough. Working from home and taking care of a toddler and a baby makes you sort of tired..Who knew?..I didn't..I still would not trade it for the world..

Well its time to get started with dinner..really easy..Beef Fajitas and a tossed salad. But first I have to make a run to wally world aka Walmart..If I could keep my yes open long enough , I'll get to see the "First 48"..Love this show..Wish me luck.

Please, Please Go Potty

OK, so I've been trying to potty train my daughter for the past 4 or 5 months. Its not going so well. My little girl is as smart as can be. She informs me of the changes to her pull-ups after she has already made the change. I allow her to watch me use the restroom and tell her what mommy is doing. Still no go. She's 2 years old and I decided to wait until she was just a little past 18 months before starting on this personal journey of ours. I am now starting to wonder if I waited too long to get her going.

She can change her clothes up to 5 times a day without any help. Mind you nothing ever matches. Don't try to help her she will not accept any. The other day she went #2 in her pull up and decided that she would clean her self. Not a good move. Let me just say laundry time came a day early. Enough said. She tries to help me feed her little brother as well as change is diapers. But she will not go potty.Se helps me clean up her room. But she will not go potty. She like to be in the kitchen with me when I'm cooking, so she can hand me things as I need them. But she will not go potty. She can reach the lock on the back door to lock it after her dad goes out. But she will not go potty. Getting the drift yet.

How long is this supposed to take. It is so true when he experts say that no 2 children are the same. It did not take my firstborn this long to potty train. I started him at 18 months. He had it down in less than week. Less than a week, can you believe it. He was a little sponge who just picked things up so easy. Don't get me wrong my daughter is smart as a whip. I just believe that she is going to do this at her own pace.

Summer is just around the corner and I just purchase her and her little brother some really cute outfits. It would be so nice if she did'nt have pull up lines showing through her leggings. I guess I will just have to wait and see. Wish me luck. I have'nt lost my patients yet. So I'm here as long as it takes, which I don't think would be much longer. Mommy is not giving up on you Shelly. Wer'e going to knock this out real soon.

My Brothers and Sisters

Why is that those who have the least suffer the most loss..I lived in the Flatbush section of Brooklyn for 5 years..It is a large Haitian community full of boisterous and vibrant personalities..My Haitian neighbors were always out and about greeting each other in their native french-creole as they went their way..Bonjou - good morning.. Bonswa -(used after 11am) good afternoon/evening.. Komonon ou ye? - how are you.. N'ap boule - Good.

These are people who have dealt with great adversities over the years..from natural disasters to government officials who abused their positions and stole from those who put them in office.This country is considered the poorest in the western hemisphere because of the abuse. Yet despite these issues, they are still full of hope about the future..I have a dear friend who is Haitian and very proud of his culture..I have never seen this man in a foul mood..he always has a broad smile and a warm greeting whenever we meet..

In my old neighborhood, I would walk down the street and over hear what I always thought were men arguing amounts one another.. I finally asked my friend why Haitians always seemed to argue among themselves.. He informed me that they were not arguing, that was just their way of engaging in colorful harmless conversation. It just made talking to one another more enjoyable.

When I heard of the devastation that the earthquake brought to this already struggling country, it broke my heart. The news coverage showed the faces of the survivors both young and old who were just so grateful to be alive..Then you would see the anguished faces of the families living Stateside waiting to hear word from their loved ones..

I just melt when I see the outpouring of help coming from near and far..We are all brothers and sisters in the eyes of God and he expects us to help each other through this difficult time. God is faithful and merciful and he will see the people of Haiti through this difficult time..Be strong and know that you are being prayed for by many..

I am so proud of my adopted country with all of the efforts given to take care of the needs of everyone effected by this tradgedy..I salute you my fellow americans for taking the charge of ensuring our nieghbors to the south are being taken care of.. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU..

Out with the Old..In with the New

Happy New Year..

This year has to be better than last year..now don't get me wrong..2009 was not that bad considering the way the economy was steadily taking a nose dive and effecting so many people I know..including my immediate family..I just want things to turn for the better for those who have been going through some adversity..I plan on making 2010 the best year ever. Sure it's not totally in my hands..but I do play a major part in own happiness.

I'm starting out on a whole new venture, something I've never done before..I want it to be a success..its not going to happen overnight but it will be successful..I work at it everyday..just as though I was working outside of the home. Trying to build a successful website is not easy work. Trying to make a living at it is even a little harder.

It just came to me one day, that why should I not do something I get pleasure out of and make money while doing it. I love to cook and eat. I like experimenting in the kitchen..I had an HA HA moment while laying in bed..My husband thought I was crazy for quiting my job..but it came to me clear as day this was the right time to make my move..hey I no longer liked what I was doing..so why not now?.

The only reason I kept working as long as I did doing what I did not like was because I thought it was the right thing to do..WRONG life is TOO, TOO short to be miserable, whether its a job you don't like or a relationship thats not working..make a change. Do something different with your situation..Out with the old..In with the new..